The fam and I moved into a house with a pool last month and it’s much needed since we now live in the hottest part of the valley. We’ve got a great yard and it’s lots of fun, but by the time I get home from work and am ready for a swim-swim, everybody’s basically asleep. So, I find myself swimming solo a lot of the time, which is totally fine, because I’ve got the whole pool to myself. I don’t need nobody…sniff…sniff.
What to do if you’re the only fool in the pool? As most guys do when they’re bored of sitting down somewhere, you create a game.
I’ve created three pool games you can play all by your lonesome. Cool down with these quick singles matches, all of which will probably be in the next summer Olympics.
1. Beer Laps
Basically, you place a bottle of beer at each end of the pool and swim back and forth and see how quickly you can finish both. Swim swim, chug chug. You can even time yourself on your smart phone if you want to get technical.
Added tip: Make sure you have a nearby cooler or a few extra beers to replace the first two you drink so you don’t have to leave the pool. Also, if you have to pee, just do it. It’s your pool. Who’s gonna know?
2. Marco Solo
This is just like that game Marco Polo, but you just close your eyes and wade around the pool with a beerski talking to yourself, never catching anyone. The real challenge is treading in the deep end while keeping your drink above water. You can use a red Solo cup if you want to live up to the game’s name even more.
Added tip: If you think you hear someone walking around the pool, yell “BITCH OUTTA WATER” and scare your neighbors. You’ll never have to worry about them asking to swim in your pee pool again.
3. Happy Bubbles
When you’re all worn out from beer laps and talking to yourself, it’s time for a little re-lax-ation. Happy Bubbles is where you go over to the filter and rest your crotch where the water shoots out and giggle for several minutes. The game is over when the chlorine starts to burn your pee hole (bummer).
Added tip: Girls, don’t fret. You can still probably play this game, you just need to be flexible and determined. A leg may have to be thrown up on the deck for leverage.
When you’re done with a long day of solo pool activities, it’s time for a long raft nap. Drink holders are encouraged, and make sure you hike up those swim trunks to tan your front hams.
I hope you’ve enjoyed these summer time must-trys for you very own solo pool experience. Share them with a creep or two and have fun in the sun.